Far from me
by one of eddie's girls
Summary: When Bella loses contact with her best friend, she sends him an email to let him know that she will still be around. OS drabble... Non-Cannon


**AN: SM owns all things Twilight, I just like to put them through pain and sadness.**

**This is a little drabble that I wrote to help me deal with some stuff going on with a friend. A very special thank you to JTMD24 for her help in making this all pretty at such a short notice. And like always a special thank you for my twifey for pushing me to do this and feel better.**

**This is dedicated to Sugar, and all those women who are tired of empty promises. **

Bella sat in front of her computer with tears rolling down her cheeks. She cried for many reasons, the first being from anger. It pissed her off that he could disregard her so easily when it wasn't in her nature to do the same. The next reason - disappointment in herself for letting those words affect her again. And lastly, from heartbreak because she knew there wasn't anything that could be done to change the final outcome.

_My Dearest Honey,_

_I hate the fact that I have been reduced to writing an email. It just proves how hard it's been to talk to you lately. So much has changed in your life that I don't know if there is still room in it for me._

She knew from the moment he told her about Tanya, that things would never be the same between them. Edward was her best friend and they told each other everything. There were things about her life that she'd never told anyone else, not even Emmett.

Only Edward.

_I know you say that you are busy and that work has been hell, but things haven't been the same between us for a while. I don't want to make you feel bad, and I want you to know that I understand. Really, I do. So many changes in such a short period of time are hard to adjust to, but I can't be kept in this state of limbo for long._

It started off with simple things, like canceling on their morning coffee date once a week. Then, phone calls were cut short with promises that he'd call her back, which he ever did. Followed by only showing up for coffee once a week, leaving Bella to dine alone the rest of the time. The latest was her phone calls not being answered at all.

_I'm not trying to make you feel bad, really, but remember I've always made room for you in my life, even when it would cause a fight between Emmett and me. I always explained that our connection is special and I can't just stop being your friend. Which hasn't changed for me. I will still be your friend when you're ready to come back. But I will no longer sit around waiting for a phone call that never comes._

Bella thought of all the nights that Emmett would get home from work to find Edward in their living room complaining to her about the latest bitch that fucked him over. Or ranting about all the crap he was stuck doing at work while his other co-workers sat on their asses not doing much, or just telling her funny stories of the latest antics his brother Anthony was up to. Those were always guaranteed fight-nights for Emmett and her. Her husband of four years never got over her love for her best friend; he'd always thought that Edward was in love with Bella. He reminded her of that fact every time.

_Do you remember what I told you the day you told me you were in love with her? I told you I would lose my friend and you swore that would never happen; that you would find a way. But things did change and you've pushed further away with each passing month. Damn it, I believed you, even after you told me she was pregnant and I said that Tanya needed you more now. I believed your promises of not losing you from my life._

Seeing the monitor became more difficult as the tears gathered in her eyes at an alarming pace as she so clearly remembered the feelings that passed through her mind the day he told her about the baby. Bella didn't let them show, but Edward knew his best friend better than that and called her on it. She told him she was afraid that now that Tanya was pregnant, she wouldn't want them spending any time together. The worst part was Bella believed him when he said that Tanya didn't care and that they would still talk all the time. She believed him when he told her that nothing would change, even though deep down she knew that wasn't true.

_Now you're engaged, and all I get is a quick text to tell me about it. I know I'm the one that said you can't sacrifice your sleep or time at work to talk to me, but I think that telling me about your engagement warranted more than just a text. A phone call at the least to tell your best friend of such wonderful news, wouldn't have taken that much time out of your life._

At least in Bella's opinion it wouldn't have taken him long to just pick up the phone to tell her of something so big in his life. She was genuinely affronted that Edward disregarded her feelings so much, as if she wouldn't be happy for him. Better yet, that he didn't want to hear the hurt in her voice or how she would feel. She assumed that he knew she would just repeat what she'd been telling him from the beginning of his relationship with Tanya.

_Well, just know that I wish you all the best and will still be here for you when you're ready, but I will no longer sit around waiting for my phone to ring. No longer will I keep going to sit in a cafe for hours waiting for you to show up for coffee. If and when you are ready to have me back into your life in whatever capacity you wish, just pick up the phone and call, but know this – I will not jump at your every whim._

Bella steeled her resolve to not let Edward's false promises and words of things that will or will not happen affect her life any longer. She dried the tears that lingered under her eyes and wiped away the streaks that lined her cheeks.

_I will miss you and will love you always,_

_Your little Bee _

Clicking the send button Bella finally let go of the loud, body shaking sobs that fell from her throat.

She felt arms wrap around her and her husband's soft words of encouragement and strength. She thanked him with a strong hug and passionate kiss. Then said a silent prayer that everything would be okay. Bella hoped that this was just the thing that Edward needed to see and for him to come back to her life.

**End Note: Those who are waiting for the continuation of S&C I am in the middle of working on the first chapters, it will be posted as a separate story under the name The Consequences Behind Secrets. **

**Also once a few chapter of that is in the bank I will go back to finish the Outtakes and future takes to JaD.**

**Thanks for all your patience while I get everything in order.**


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